I wish that I had something I could wear at all times that would let people know that:
-I am untamable.
-I don't have any work ethic.
-I have no respect for rules or authority.
-It was not okay that I was forced to go to school.
-I was not a good kid, and if I could go back in time, I would bite, hit, kick, pinch, scream, do whatever I had to do to get adults to back off and take me out of school. I sincerely wish that I had bitten the principal's face while I had the chance.
-I will never take responsibility for things that happen to me. It's other people's fault for doing stuff to me, regardless of how I react.
-I act how I feel, and my feelings are 100% based on my circumstances. If you like me because I seem happy or cheerful, you don't actually like me. You like my circumstances.
I just wish there were some way to display this information about myself the way that my glasses are visible to the world. I wish there was something I could do to make these things outwardly obvious to everyone so that no one would ever come over to me and try to bond over how annoying it is that other people are like what I just described, or worse - bonding over the fact that "we" are not like that, without even asking me.
I think the next time this happens, I'll say something like, "Yeah, it's really annoying that people with blond hair (or whatever color hair they have) exist! Why can't they all just dye their hair brown like mine?"